Are you an appropriate Christian Lady? Take this quiz and find out!

Some times I fall into this trap of too much self-examination and I become riddled with self-doubt. Am I really a Christian? What about my “flaws”? How can I do this/be this/say this and still call myself a Christian? How do other people see me? Am I acceptable to society? Do I not need to be more like (insert perfect Christian friend here)?

Hence I developed this handy quiz to test if I really am a Christian Lady.

The following quiz designed for self-doubters to determine once and for all if you make the “cut”.

Score yourself by adding or subtracting marks as you answer the following questions.

If you’re a guy you can score your sister/friend/girlfriend/mom this way:

1. You wear skirts or dresses that are shorter than 2cm above your knee -5
2. Among your favourite books are: “Waiting and dating”, “I kissed dating goodbye”, “Passion and purity” or “Captivity” +10
3. Among your favourite books are “Sex God” and anything by Paulo Coelho or Philip Yancey. -15
4. You are good at maths or science -5
5. You have ever disagreed with a pastor or voiced your own opinion in church -5
6. You like making out or kissing. Actually, even hugging is a little dodgy. Side-hugs are okay. -10 (kissing)

-5 (hugging)

+2 (side hugging)

7. You have an IQ above 120 (church girls are meant to be seen and not heard and being smart often hinders this) -4
8. You like xkcd or any other geeky humor -4
9. You have a dark sense of humor. If you even so much as chuckle at any joke about babies, puppies or jews then it’s a solid minus for you. Even if you chuckle in your head. It counts. -15
10. You stick quotes up on your facebook wall. Preferably quotes by Ghandi, Benjamin Franklin, Martin Luther King, Mandela, oh yeah and the Bible +20
11. Your facebook picture shows your smiling face +10
12. Your facebook picture shows your legs (uncovered. Jeans are okay) -10
13. You have your own bible-study group +15
14. You are in the worship team. +20
15. You are worship leader (seen and not heard remember) -5
16. You have any kind of piercing. Yes, extra ear-piercings count. We don’t want to lead anyone into temptation. -7
17. You have ever considered getting or you have a tattoo. -20
18. You wear a bikini to the beach -10
19. Said bikini is white -20
20. You wear shorts over your full costume to the beach +20
21. You like hiking and other outdoor activities. +7
22. You can cook (remember, we are preparing for marriage girls!) +15
23. You have your own opinion on creation (this is a biiiggggg noooo) -25
24. You have skipped church to sleep in/go shopping/work during the last three months -10
25. You have skipped church to volunteer at a soup kitchen +10
26. You have ever been to ram-fest -20
27. You have ever been to coke fest -10
28. You have been to a trance party (this is worse than number 23) -30
29. If you go out and drink alcohol you make sure its only one drink per night or if it’s a day event then only half a drink. Also it has to be something suitable like brutal fruit, white wine or savannah. +5
30. You drink red wine, beer, or any hard-liquor like vodka, gin, whiskey ect. (minus an extra 5 if the beer is black label or the hard liquor is brandy) -10
31. You don’t get involved in debates about the church. It is not a woman’s place. +10
32. You have guy friends other than the guy who you are going to marry (who should only be your friend up until you get engaged and get married an approximate time of 6 months later) -10
33. Your guy friends aren’t Christian -20
34. You know how to flirt (Where did you learn this???) -30
35. You have watched Fight Club/ Vicky Christina Barcelona/ Sin city or Pulp Fiction -5
36. You like any of the above movies -10
37. You spend more than 10 minutes putting on make-up (then you are clearly putting on too much and this leads to temptation) -15
38. Your favourite past-time is reading/ painting/ writing or practicing an instrument. (these are suitable activities for a lady) +10
39. You smoke -20
40. You smoke weed -30
41. You have already chosen your children’s names and middle names. +30
42. You want to travel the world before you get married -10
43. Your best friend is married (this is proper company for a lady) +10
44. You have ever read the Koran, the Torah or have any friends that are of another religion. -10
45. These friends are guys (shocker!) -20
46. You have sworn in the last three months. Even if it’s in traffic. In your head also counts. -15

For those who didn’t get it, the point of this little satire is to remind us how the devil can amplify our insecurities and this is to show you how ridiculous it can get and…

Never mind..…if you didn’t get it you didn’t get it.


5 Responses to “Are you an appropriate Christian Lady? Take this quiz and find out!”

  1. 1 Cara Meintjes Junie 7, 2010 om 11:12 nm

    Hahaha! Thanks, this was really cool. I flipping lost points cause I can cook. Grrrr. And WHY haven’t I been to a trance party yet? If you hear of any in CTN, let me know. I really want to check it out.

  2. 2 kaneelsuiker Junie 8, 2010 om 12:29 vm

    Haha, dit was nogal snaaks om dit toe te pas op van my devout christian ‘sister/friend/girlfriend/mom’s. Stem nie met als saam nie, maar ek sien jou punt. Aan die einde van die dag is hierdie goed irrelevant en slegs tot voordeel van jou eie beeld van vroomheid in die samelewing. Ek dink as mens so bietjie van daai image laat skiet kan dit help om beter te connect met ons gewone aardse mense. Tog, die gehoorsames tussen ons is ook nodig in die liggaam van Christus.

  3. 3 Tsholo Junie 8, 2010 om 9:27 vm

    oh man, if this was a true test on christianity, i definitely would not have passed. i lost track of the negative points…

  4. 4 karliendupreez Junie 8, 2010 om 9:32 vm

    Ola! Ha ha yeah I’m so far in the negative I can’t see the sun! Cara….not sure bout the trance party but I hear it’s a summer activity though…but let’s go to the next one! Oh, I can also cook, damn. Kaneelsuiker…I feel ya, en ja daars goed wat ek ook dink is verkeerd, maar dis meer oor die hart van die wet as die letter van die wet:-) Aspris probeer goed insit waaroor mense altyd stry. Thanks for getting me everyone, wasn’t sure if I should post this….:-)

  5. 5 rosalindfranklin Junie 8, 2010 om 3:54 nm

    My sakrekenaar kan nie minus optel nie en nou weet ek nie meer wat my score is nie

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