Musings on God

I’m sure if you’ve been following my blog you know that I am in confusion about God at the moment. I am for the first time in my life doubting if I believe in Him. I always knew He existed, but maybe I didn’t understand Him. But for some reason I can’t anymore. I really wonder if He exists.

I am, however, including Him in my search. Reading, talking to people, praying… I’m searching for Him and believe that if He exists He will rescue me from this…I hope. I really don’t want to NOT believe in Him. My whole world view and the way I handle people and problems and life in general are based in the assumption that He exists.

I also know that, just because I am dissapointed in His people or learn things I assumed were true to not be true, doesn’t mean He does not exist. It’s like hearing of someone and in your mind they have blonde hair and an english accept, and you meet them they have dark hair and an American accent. It doesn’t make them any less real.

Anyway, so in an attempt to figure this out I have made categories. If God exists, this is what I know of him, am confused about, and know is not true of Him.

What I know of God to be true:

– All truth is God’s. Even if it is not found withing His “religion.” If you seek truth, you will always find God. There is no truth outside of Him.

-All sins are forgiven. Even future sins. We cannot out-sin God. We can do nothing to not be forgiven.

– We come to Him through grace and humbleness and choosing Him. Not through acts. Not act can get you God’ favour or get you into heaven, same as nothing you do can keep you out of heaven once you have accepted Him (in terms of our actions. Not sure of this applies to if we choose to then not believe in Him)

Things I think hope/think are true but am doubting:

– God wants good things for us. God wants us to be happy.

– God has a plan with out lives. Not sure if He has a plan or just blesses what we choose to do. Or simply just leaves us to get out the other side alive and kind of helps us get there but does not interfere much. Think this is my biggest struggle at the moment.

– He can make you new. I know the Bible says He can, but I have seen so many people who are Christians but still carry the burdens of their past and hurt from it. Can He heal your hurt?

– Can you really help you to stop sinning? Or can He just help you live with it?

-Does He still pursue people? Does He still save people? Or does He just leave the ones who aren’t saved?

– Does praying for someone help?

– Does He still heal people of physical diseases and illnesses?

– Is it possble to live without sin?

Things I know are not true:

– When you sin you “build a wall” between you can God. If this were true we’d all be screwed coz no one doesn’t sin. When we sin, that is the time we need Him most.

– The church is always right. This perception is flawed as leaders are also human and it is okay to disagree with the church and even more okay to talk about this.

– To question God or be angry at Him is wrong. He knows you truly and deeply and knows you are angry or hurt or questioning so you might as well ‘fess up and chat to Him about it.

Please if you disagree or want to add anything, PLEASE DO! I am pretty desperate and so sad to be so far from the One I love so please help me figure this out?????

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5 Responses to “Musings on God”


  1. 1 Rentia Augustus 17, 2010 om 10:26 nm

    Hi Tjommie

    AL wat ek voel ek mag se, is dit help as mens self n revelation van die Kruis het, ongeag hoe ander mense om ons reageer op dit wat Jesus kom doen het.

    Ek onthou n ou in Egipte wat eers n Moslem was wat deur hel was om die Here te volg. AL hoe Hy dit kon deurgemaak het, was die openbaring van wat Jesus self vir Hom gegee het oor wie Hy(Jesus) regtig is. As hy na ander mense sou kyk, sou hy dit nie kon gemaak het nie.

    EK glo dit is n proses waardeer jy self gaan, wil net se ek dnk aan jou!

    Liefde

    rEnchie

  2. 2 Ula Augustus 17, 2010 om 11:21 nm

    Hi

    Yay, my kans om devils advocate te speel…

    Ek glo nie hy is aktief betrokke met enigiets wat gebeur nie, toe hy met sy ‘chariot’ verlaat het, het al sy aardse dinge saam met hom verlaat. Maar die gees wonder nog rond en laat mense happy voel.

    Daarom vir die goed wat jy oor wonder:
    -Ja hy wil jul gelukkig he, maar geluk kom sodra jy hemel toe gaan, nie terwyl jy hier is nie.
    -Hy mag miskien ‘n plan he, maar dit is jou werk (maak nie saak hoe onmoontlik nie) om uit te figure wat daardie plan is…ek dink die plan is veronderstel om rustigheid en vrede vir jou te gee, die meeste mense ontdek nooit wat hulle plan was nie.
    -Hy kan jou miskien nuut maak, maar onthou dat jou geskiedenis is nie uitgewipe nie, daarom in dit “make new”…jy beryk nooit nuut nie, hy maak dit net maklikker om met jou geskiedenis te leef en leer jou hoe om dit te hanteer.
    -Jy kan net jouself maak ophou sonde doen, wat is die punt as jy hom elke keer ignoreer en aanhoudend sondig, jy moet daaran werk om nader aan hom te kom, vir so lank aswat jy sonde herhaal gan jy nie ten volle hom verstaan nie.
    -Hy red nie meer mense nie, as jy teen hom gaan, hom ignoreer, gaan hy nie jou hemel toe stuur nie.
    -bid vir ander mense laat slegs jou beter voel, jy moet aktief betrokke raak om ‘n verskil te maak (ek ken baie mense wat bid vir arm mense, maar hulle lot is nie beter nie, want hulle doen niks daaraan behalwe bid nie). tensy die ander persoon/jy nie hom uit ‘n situasie help nie, gaan jou gebede niks doen nie, asook, dit is onmoontlik vir jou om te weet wat die beste vir die ander persoon is, daarom kan jy vir die verkeerde ding bid met goeie intensies. Soos ‘n vrou wat geslaan word, jy bid sy gan uit verhouding uit, sodra sy doen, het sy geen ondersteuning en sy word ‘n prostituut.
    -nee
    -nee, maar die punt is om sonde te verminder, nie te aanvaar dis o.k. en aanhoudend te doen nie, note hy vergewe, maar se altyd “go forth and sin no more”.

    Maar om my advies te vat oor hierdie onderwerp is soos om fassion tips te vat van ‘n boemelaar af.

    Was net lus vir comment.
    Njoy

  3. 3 Matthew Nixon-James Augustus 18, 2010 om 9:15 vm

    we all go through tough times. dry times. if you know Jesus you cannot build a wall because of His Grace. If some one told you that when you became a Christian everything would become good. They lied. Jesus tell us to take up our cross, that is a death sentence. We have to die to our selves. The things you know are not tru are not true and they are all good thins to know. Have a read of my blog.. thoughts and a bible ..

    http://nixonjames.wordpress.com

  4. 4 vabond Augustus 21, 2010 om 12:40 nm

    Haai. Ja, ek weet hoe jy voel en ek’s jammer as my musings ooit ‘n klein bietjie bygedra het daartoe.

    Al wat ek weet en wat jy weet is dat God goed is en daardie goeie God sal jy op jou eie tyd en op jou eie plek weer leer ken. Divinely predestined seker?

    Ek glo dat met my situasie die Here eers al die gemors gedagtes wat deur verskeie kerke opgebou is moet afbreek dat ek stelselmatig weer in Hom moet glo en moet onthou hoekom ek in Hom glo. Nie oor iets wat ek geleer het nie, maar iets wat ek ontdek het. Ons neig om ‘n persona te leef wat opbou deur al hierdie flippen christen-lifestyle wat so lekker lyk. Dan kyk mens dieper en almal sukkel en daardie christen-lifestyle is fake. Maar jy’t nie in dit ingegaan vir die lifestyle nie. Jy’t in dit ingegaan vir God. God het sy eie tyd. chill dit uit 😉

    O ja, ek’t anderdag met ‘n vriendin gechat wat dieselfde probleem het en sy’t die frase gebruik ‘wanneer ek weer ‘n christen is’. Ek weet jy sal weer wees.

    Hopelik help dit net so klein bietjie

  5. 5 Alweri Augustus 24, 2010 om 9:39 vm

    “I know now, Lord, why you utter no answer. You are yourself the answer. Before your face questions die away. What other answer would suffice?”
    — C.S. Lewis –


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