Okay so after my little dabble in the dark side I really do believe there is a God again. There is no way I can get around it. Even while “not believing in Him” or “not being sure” or whatever, it’s like not being sure of gravity. So here are my reasons for believing in God. I by no means have everything figured out but I do believe in Him fully:

-Prophecies. I went through Isiah and there are so many things that people could not possibly have known if it wasn’t told to them by God. It is proven that the old testiment was written roughly 400 years before the new testiment, so there is no way that people could’ve known what was going to go down. Even if I don’t believe in God, and in the Bible as just a book, it was still written 400 years apart and it is still a historic document, with one part predicting events of the future.

-The calender. Before Christ. After Christ.

-The Bible’s comments on the human heart and the human condition is absolutely accurate. It comments on the way the human heart is evil, how we are consumed by sin ect. and how grace and redemption are the way to move forward and I can see when this is practiced, how it actually works out. It seems that God knows something of our hearts that we cannot figure out.

-If God and Jesus were made up, who would think of a God who is all “turn the other cheek” and “seeking that all people be saved” and “forgive a million billion times” (yeah, paraphrasing…) Who would think of that? People would make up someone who is more of a Superhero, who punishes evil people, not someone who forgives and welcomes even sinners. They would make up someone who stands out above the crowd and can kick someone’s ass if they look at him wrong, not hang on a cross, praying for those who are hanging Him. If you look at any other God or religion it’s either about human’s, how we have intrinsic power in ourselves, or about a God whose rules you need to follow to get on His good side. Those seem like things human beings would make up. A forgiving God? Who welcomes everyone? Not even the most well-meaning person in the world could make that up.

– As much as I try and be angry at God and deny Him sometimes, I cannot deny that He has talked to me personally. Last year was very difficult as well as the beginning of this year and three times in this time He spoke to me, in my heart, revealing something of the future that happens exactly that way. I can’t get around that.

– I feel Him. I know this makes no sense at all. But as far as I am concerned all the “logical” reasons above can go to hell. I feel Him in my heart. I don’t always know who He is and how He is, but I feel Him. He chased me down. He saved me. He searched for me when no one else would. He is in my heart. There’s no way I can get around that.

Do I know why God is seemingly silent most of the time? No

Do I know why God doesn’t always heal our hurt or save us from dangerous situations? No

Do I know why He doesn’t make sense or just reveal Himself? No

Do I have the answers on why He doesn’t perform miracles when we ask Him to? No

Can I make sense of the Bible? No way!

But He exists. He doesn’t fit into my box. He doesn’t always behave the way I want Him to. I sometimes can’t make sense of what the heck His plan is with the world and why He lets things get so bad. But He is God. And that’s it. He can’t fit into my box and even if I find out something different about Him every day, I can’t get past the fact that He exists. So if I believe in Him or not, or submit to Him or not, or talk to Him or not, or have a relationship with Him or not, or consult with Him in life decisions or not, it doesn’t make Him any less God.

And it’s kind of comforting having a God I can’t understand at all. Else why would He be so much bigger than me?

P.S. This is not to convince anyone of anything. I am not in the business of “convincing people God exists.” If you can be argued into it you can be argued out of it. It’s something you choose or you don’t. Just don’t be fake about whatever our choice is. Or your search. Or whatever. That’s me probably…searching. Giving you all insight into my search.

Oh and I heard something cool the other day…I don’t think God cares as much about being understood, as He cares about being loved.


2 Responses to “Searching…”

  1. 1 flippiefanus Augustus 28, 2010 om 6:19 vm

    Thanks for the inspirational post. It is good to be reminded of these things.

  1. 1 Reads of the week – 2010 – 31 « Hope In Love Terugskakeling op Augustus 28, 2010 om 12:34 vm

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