Thoughts on hating small talk

Oh how I hate small talk. And forced “friendliness” that accompanies meeting new people. I shiver at the thought of going to a birthday party or wedding where I know only the friend that invited me. I can be charming and smiley, but usually I just retreat back into my shell and sit there silently judging the world (well, not that bad, I just let my mind wander to some pleasant place where with dark chocolate and nice flowers) Anyway, so today I was at a friend’s bachelorette’s and I end up sitting inbetween a very chatty Indian girl and a smiley, pretty black girl. Lucky me, the Indian girl seems to be the chattiest person at the party, and totally incapable of reading the unversial signs for “I-dont-do-small-talk”

Luckily there are a huge array of nice things to eat and I fill my plate to the brim with cheese and crackers, samoosas, little pieces of chicken, olives, feta cheese, melon slices…mmm… So with my plate full and some strategic fork-to-mouth excercises I manage to get away with monosyllibic answers for the first part of the conversation. But then…oh dear…my plate starts to finish and the usual bachelorette games haven’t started up again. My eyes dart around the room. I supress the urge to go to the bathroom for the third time out of pure boredom, I think of taking my book out of my handbag, but that would label me totally anti-social. So I have no choice but to answer the quetions that keep coming like bullets. Before long she knows where I grew up, what I studied, the number of siblings I have and whether my parents are still together. I also learn (not by choice) that her husband is Afrikaans, how they met, how long they’ve been together, the struggle for him to find his calling and how long she has been staying in Cape Town. Then she asks “Do you have someone special?” I fight the urge to answer “My mother loves me” and just grumble, “no”, not wanting to go into the intricate details of my personal life with someone I just met. And then she answers with the killer sentence: “Oh okay, still praying and trusting the Lord?”
And I’m like…are you KIDDING me!! NO!!! I am working on my passions, developing my character, realising my dream for my life, finding out who I am, listening to my heart, writing my book, working in the community, developing relationships with friends and about a thousand different things that did NOT appreciate her “just hang in there” look.

Since when did that become the only thing women do? Since when, if you’re not married, you deserve a pitiful stare from someone saying “Just pray and trust the Lord.” Granted, I’m sure she didn’t mean it like that, but I just felt like she was placing me in a box that said “waiting for her husband.” Instead, I am living my life! I am doing what I want, enjoying my freedom, planning my future, developing skills, reaching people and spending my time as I wish. Why is it that some people don’t see it that way? Why do some women think a husband “saves” or “completes” you?

Just reminded me again why I hate small talk.