On God and relationships

A realisation has slowly begun to take shape in my mind… I have always struggled with loving God, being incredibly into Him, giving my life to Him, making promises, then doubting, wondering things, feeling like He can’t exist, then loving Him again ect… When I was younger I thought this was not how things worked. I mean…you live in sin, you decide you love God, you give your life to Him and you start getting better and better at being a Christian, doing His will, living in his love and so on.

This is also how I thought relationships worked. You meet, you get to know each other, you fall in love and you love this person incredibly forever. As I grow older I realise both of these perceptions are untrue.

Love works more like this… You meet someone, you fall in love, you want to be with them all the time. You start a relationship. You get to know the person. Some days they make your hard bang out of your chest. Some days you want to scream at them and kill them. Some days you suddenly discover something about them you never knew before. Some days they are your support and your rock and you couldn’t do the thing you did without them. Some days are just routine and you settle into silence, or making dinner, or conversation without really noticing their presence. Some days you fight like you never thought you could. Some days they hurt you. Some days you hurt them. This is true for relationships, friendships, marriages….

I don’t want it to be like this though. I mean, the hard part is FINDING a husband and arranging the wedding isn’t it? Aren’t you home free after that? Why should there be any pain, fighting, conflict in a marriage? Unfortunately life is not like that… We are all people. We go through our personal ups and downs. We go through times of complacency, of passion, of selfishness. And in a relationship there are two people, therefore this happens a lot. I notice this more and more, in my own relationships as well as the people I talk to. A friend of mine who is married for almost 10 years told me, the other day, that they had to have a hard conversation about possible divorce. They decided to stay together, in the end, but there were some hard things they needed to address and discuss. But in these really hard moments there are also the really wonderful moments. Life is just like that. There is no magic button, there is no line that you cross and everything is perfect. There are day to day decisions, experiences, conversations (sometimes the hard ones). And I think we need to know this. Married people need to talk about this, need to let single people know that, if you struggle in your marriage one day, you are not alone. You did not fail. Everybody experiences this. The good part is, that the hard parts lead to the great parts. Relationships grow stronger, even if they are still difficult. The things you fight for are worth it.

Moving on to what I actually want to say…if we compare what we have with God to falling in love, to the feelings and emotions we have in a marriage, we should expect the same. When I realised this I finally became free. I always thought of myself of “not really being a Christian” because I still fight, I still have doubts, I still “take a break” from God sometimes. Turns out, not only am I a Christian, I am in a relationship with God, because this is how it works. We simply have our ups and downs. I shout, I scream, I ask questions, I run away, I come back, I dance with Him, I walk with Him, sometimes I listen, sometimes I don’t. But I do feel more peaceful. I do feel more secure in these ups and downs. I’m starting to get to know Him, and knowing He will always be there. Actually, He IS always there.


So…may we be more open. May we be free to say we are angry. May we be free to ask questions. May we be free to tell our friends if we struggle in our marriage, or in our walk with God. May we be free to talk about the good times, and the bad…


4 Responses to “On God and relationships”

  1. 1 Mags April 1, 2012 om 11:13 nm

    Thank you for sharing!!
    I have the same ups and downs in my relationship with God, and almost felt like I am alone in these ups and downs.

    I understood that we all must be going through a similar see-saw, but not too the same extend as I do: Sometimes I feel so close to God and can see his moving hand in my live, other times I feel so far removed.

    I only pray that God keeps on working with me!!

  2. 2 Regaine Junie 7, 2013 om 7:50 nm

    First of all I would like to say excellent blog! I had a quick question that I’d like to ask if you don’t mind.
    I was interested to find out how you center yourself and clear your thoughts
    before writing. I have had trouble clearing my thoughts in getting my ideas out.
    I truly do enjoy writing however it just seems like the first 10
    to 15 minutes are usually wasted just trying to figure out how to begin.
    Any suggestions or tips? Cheers!

    • 3 sterrekind Junie 17, 2013 om 11:19 vm

      Wow thanks for the big compliment. Mmmm, I have to say I have no tricks up my sleeve. I usually walk around for a day or so with the idea in my head and as soon as I sit down they come pouring out. I think maybe just write, see how it comes out, just write everything, and you can read through it and edit it later on (this is usually my flaw). Good luck!

  1. 1 Reads of the week – 2012 – 7 « Hope In Love Terugskakeling op Februarie 25, 2012 om 9:28 vm

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